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发表于 2012-9-9 14:40:33 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式

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本帖最后由 Jim 于 2012-9-9 14:53 编辑

See if you may truly understand the typical jokes in English. If so, your English is pretty good then.

1. I am desperately trying to figure out why Kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

2. Three women were about to be executed. One was a
brunette, one a redhead, and the other a blonde.

The guard brought the first woman, the brunette,
forward and the executioner asked if she had any
last requests. She said no and the executioner
shouted...Ready...Aim...!! and suddenly the
brunette yelled, "Earthquake!"

Everyone was startled and looked around. She
escaped. So they brought up the redhead and asked
if she had any last requests. She said no, and the
executioner shouted...Ready...Aim...!! and
suddenly the redhead yelled....."Tornado!"

Everyone was startled and looked around. She
escaped. Well, by now, the blonde had it all
figured out. They brought her forward and the
executioner asked if she had any last requests.
She said no and the executioner shouted...
Ready...Aim...!! and the blonde yelled,"Fire!"

3. A blonde and a brunette were talking one day.
The brunette said that her boyfriend had a
slight dandruff problem but she gave him
"Head and Shoulders" and it cleared it up.
The blonde asked, "How do you give shoulders?"

4. A young fellow and his girl are parked in a
lover's lane that runs along a river. The guy
wants to make love, but the girl is afraid
somebody will come along and see them.

They decide to do it under his Dodge 4 X 4 pickup
with oversized tires and lots of room under.

A few minutes later, a county deputy pulls up and
says, "Hey, what the devil you all doing down
there?"

The young fellow being in a full "rut" doesn't
even look up, but manages to say, "I'm fixing my
muffler."

The deputy says, "Well, son, you shoulda been
fixin' your parking brake, 'cause your truck
just rolled into the river."

5. USA Today has come out with a new survey:
Apparently three out of four people make up 75
percent of the population.-----David Letterman

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志利

发表于 2012-9-9 15:16:56 | 显示全部楼层

看不懂啊，JIM老师。

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ccsspp454

发表于 2012-9-9 17:20:25 | 显示全部楼层

I am desperately trying to figure out why Kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
神风特攻队飞行员戴安全帽没有什么可笑的啊？

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ccsspp454

发表于 2012-9-9 17:21:55 | 显示全部楼层

2. Three women were about to be executed. One was a
brunette, one a redhead, and the other a blonde.

The guard brought the first woman, the brunette,
forward and the executioner asked if she had any
last requests. She said no and the executioner
shouted...Ready...Aim...!! and suddenly the
brunette yelled, "Earthquake!"

Everyone was startled and looked around. She
escaped. So they brought up the redhead and asked
if she had any last requests. She said no, and the
executioner shouted...Ready...Aim...!! and
suddenly the redhead yelled....."Tornado!"

Everyone was startled and looked around. She
escaped. Well, by now, the blonde had it all
figured out. They brought her forward and the
executioner asked if she had any last requests.
She said no and the executioner shouted...
Ready...Aim...!! and the blonde yelled,"Fire!"

第一个和第二个说“地震”和“龙卷风”为了逃命。第三个说“开火”马上就被射死了。

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ccsspp454

发表于 2012-9-9 17:24:05 | 显示全部楼层

3. A blonde and a brunette were talking one day.
The brunette said that her boyfriend had a
slight dandruff problem but she gave him
"Head and Shoulders" and it cleared it up.
The blonde asked, "How do you give shoulders?"

"Head and Shoulders"是海飞丝，而另一个人误以为“肩膀”。