当男人失去工作以后...

夜神◕_̯͡◕

Other women similarly report not wanting to further undermine their men's shaky out-of-work identity. The phrase "fragile male ego" comes up a lot in these conversations. One woman wrote in from Minneapolis, where her husband lost his job as a conservative rabbi. (Who knew clergy were on the recession chopping block?) She hadn't worked full-time in 10 years—she was writing a novel and taking care of their kids, ages 13, 8, and 5. Now she and her husband have switched. She's at work, and he's mostly at home. And she is still the grocery shopper, the haircut-getter, and the maestro conducting the household orchestra. When it came time to re-enroll the kids in school, her husband filled out the forms, but only after she told him to. They are both deliberately holding onto their past roles. "You're right, we don't want to shift things completely," she said when I probed a bit over the phone. "When he first lost his job, he was so uncomfortable about being home in the middle of the day, and my friend said to me, 'Don't make him into a house husband. Don't reinforce his upset that he's not working.' So I'm not."

That strategy is about having faith that this, too, shall pass. It means treating the unwelcome entry of employment as temporary—momentary, even. You'll go back to work soon; in the meantime, I'll stay in charge of the grocery list. You can see through the surface tasks to the deep reason behind this method of coping: One identity-shattering shift at a time, please. But it also made me think about an insight from a reader named Dave, who sees stay-at-home fatherhood in his future because his wife has more education and higher earning potential. "Men pay a high price for tying their identity too closely to work," he says. To be closely identified with one's career ambitions used to be a good thing. It meant commitment, follow through, work ethic. Women used to look for all of that in a mate. Some men did, too. Now, it seems dangerously rigid.

其他妇女类似的报告中都显示她们并不想加深她们的老公没工作者一事实。从这些谈话中似乎可以看出“脆弱男性时代”似乎向我们更近一步了。一个妇女在 Minneapolis中写道，她的丈夫丢掉了作为一个保守派犹太教教士的工作。而她10年来从来未做过全职工作。她一直以来都是写小说和照顾他们的孩子，13岁，8岁和5岁。现在他和丈夫的角色对换了。她在外工作，他则大部分时间都在家里，而她仍旧负责购物，理发等。当孩子到了入学年龄的时候，她的丈夫填好表格，当然，是在她的提醒下。他们连个很自由的扮演着他们俩过去的角色。“你说的对，我们并不想完全对调这种角色，”当我在电话里想他做进一步征求的时候。“当他失去工作的时候，他表现的极度不安，我的朋友告诉我，不要让他变成一个家庭妇男，不要让他想起他已经不再工作这个令人沮丧的事实！，所以我也没有。”

suqh2012

男人工作是动力呀！